When you enjoy the company, don’t feel like making the effort.
Although I frequently profess my hatred for the human race, usually on Twitter, I realize that I in fact, do like people, or rather some people . No matter the actual number of people I wouldn’t mind being around or even sharing this nicely polluted air with, I happen to enjoy surrounding myself with other living beings, apart from my dog Pebbles. For labelling purposes and this story’s premise only, you could say that I am an extrovert.
To drop some Webster’s knowledge, or my ability to read, an extrovert is an outgoing, overtly expressive, person who enjoys a primarily physical and social environment. With the exception of a “physical environment,” which I’m not too keen on simply because I’m not sure what that fully encompasses, I would say this definition applies to me. When my mood is willing or the alcohol is flowing, I’m super outgoing and ready to mingle. And for those that know me, I’ve more often than not exhibited expressive, in-your-face tendencies. Call me obnoxious or sociable, I would still say I fit the extroverted description more than its counterpart. But even in all of my extroversion and animation, I would say that I most definitely enjoy spending time at home, cuddled up with a glass of wine and some Netflix.
Unfortunately, the night’s details were lost after my fifth shot, but according to him, I was the life of the discussion.
In college, there wasn’t a party you couldn’t catch me dancing at. From Thursday to Sunday, I would be what the kids now call “turnt” (that term didn’t start until my junior year in college). And when I wasn’t showing off my twerking moves on the dance floor, I was talking to any and everyone that made eye contact with me. We can blame it on the alcohol, being an only child, or just enjoying a good, meaningless conversation, but more often than not, I could be caught lost in conversation. One week, following a very eventful weekend, I ran into some one who I had talked to the night before. He yelled to me across the street as I walked to class, to which I waited for him to cross and meet up with me. This guy who admittedly who was unrecognizable to me, hugged me and brought up topics from our discussion the day before. Unfortunately, the night’s details were lost after my fifth shot, but according to him, I was the life of the discussion. That was eighteen-year-old me.
Although I still get caught up in a party or conversation, 22-year-old me would rather lay in bed and catch up on some much needed sleep. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve grown attached to slipping into some comfortable clothes and as Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, ‘vegging out’. Looking back on what I just said, comfortable clothes and laying like broccoli may just be the reason for my change of heart. It’s about the effort for me. Most times I don’t like getting out of bed to make friends and discuss my thought processes, partly because I have trouble clearly illustrating my thoughts that is something other than an abstract image.
I remember reading the book and thinking, how great is this! I’m an ambidextrous too!
To some this might be an introvert’s trait, but I’m not a complete introvert. While they may like to stay inside, introverts enjoy keeping to themselves and their thoughts because being surrounded by others creates high anxiety and drains them. In opposition, surrounded by the right people and I come alive. And even though I would trade a pair of heels for no pants any day, I still enjoy a good conversation and a room full of people.
I guess this conflict shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise being that I’ve always felt out of place, and undefinable. That was until I read this book, courtesy of my marketing class, that labelled my personality trait as an ambivert. I remember reading the book, which might have been one of the only assigned readings that I actually read, and thinking, how great is this! I’m an ambidextrous too! Okay, that was a dumb moment I admit, but it’s true; I’ve always exhibited dual qualities. I have both the features of an extrovert and an introvert. If the mood fits me, I can be center of attention, but I can also bury myself in covers and enjoy complete solitude. I guess right now, you could say I’m employing my introverted qualities. But who knows, in the new year I might feel like dusting off those extroverted features and get back to the party.