I took a page out of the Sex and the City script and visited New York City’s sex shop for the first time.
I giggle when I’m nervous. I get tense when guys whisper what they want to do to me in my ear. I can’t talk dirty to save my life, and I still snicker when some one says, “let’s go to Dick’s Sporting Goods”. So it was no different when I walked into The Pleasure Chest, the sex shop to go to in New York City. I awkwardly giggled when I asked the sales associate what vibrators would be good for beginners. I got tense when I damn near crashed into a row of ‘black cocks’, and I nervously snickered as I turned on what I believe was the world’s most powerful, turbo vibrator.
I’m a child, I know, but I can’t help it. Awkward situations make me act weird. It wasn’t awkward because it was a sex shop (necessarily); I’m a sexual being, but I had never aired my sexual frustrations and curiosity out for the world to see before.
Prior to our first visit, my roommate and I discussed the possibility of going to a sex shop, just to look around. We thought it would be kind of funny since both of us are pretty awkward. Neither of us have boyfriends and have a history of enduring long drought periods in the sex department. Like I said before, we’re sexual beings, and since there were no men available, we figured the next best option would be to get a man (or penis) that never runs out of energy, never lies or cheats, and always answers on the first call.
We decided to head to The Pleasure Chest, which was the go-to place for sex toys. Besides the raving Yelp reviews, this shop had been featured on HBO’s Sex and the City, a show both of us had binge watched over a matter of weeks and a couple bottles of wine. Upon our arrival, we were greeted at the door by whips and chains, and penis-shaped candy. As we quickly navigated around the S&M toys, we found shelves of vibrators.
Do you know how many vibrators there are? There are internal vibrators, external ones, dual vibrators, ones that have seven different speeds, fat ones, plastic ones, soft ones – any one you can think of, they probably have it. To the say the least, we were both overwhelmed. I think we expected to walk in and have a selection of maybe ten. That expectation was quickly ruled out.We slowly made our way around the shelves, trying to find the best option to meet our needs. I just wanted something that vibrated. I’m a simple girl – anything that was stimulating, got me to where I needed, and released my sexual frustration would be fine. I wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of internal vibrators, but that’s as far as my vibrator criteria went. My roommate on the other hand had a particular goal in mind. My roommate and myself included were true believers in the myth that not having sex for awhile was the equivalent of being a virgin again. And let’s be honest, losing your virginity wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences. It would be rough to go through it a second time, let alone the first. So my roommate wanted to use the the vibrator as a tool for preparing for the real thing. Laugh if you want to, but it seemed like a brilliant idea.
As we perused our options, we took turns testing each of the vibrators out. I turned them on one by one, quickly learning about the multiple speeds and special effects that accompanied the toys. We quietly giggled to ourselves, so not to have the associates think we were any more naive and childish than we were. But looking beyond the tingling toy, we were struck by the alarming price tag. The sex toys we were looking at were over $100. Being the two fresh-out-of-college girls that we were, we definitely couldn’t afford them. We were starting to get discouraged until we stumbled upon the $30 and under shelves. This was our shelf.
Even with our search narrowed down to a couple of shelves, there were at least twenty options. Neither of us wanted to ask for help, and luckily we didn’t have to because another curious shopper asked the associate about beginner tools. The sales associate directed the woman to our shelf, suggesting the best, long-lasting options. Hallelujah!
After thirty minutes of awkward giggling and testing the various toys, we settled on two options. My roommate chose a soft, dual vibrator and I chose the external Iconic Smoothie vibrator. It’s crazy to think that a day originally meant for window shopping turned into actual purchases. I didn’t expect myself to actually get anything. I just thought it would be a funny story to share with other people. But hey, a girl’s gotta get hers, right? I’m not sure if I will be a frequent visitor at The Pleasure Chest, but the experience was pleasant to say the least.
If only the experience using the vibrators was just as pleasant. Following our sex shopping, my roommate and I experienced some difficulty using the vibrators correctly. It was mostly likely us and not the toys, but our expectations didn’t meet reality. It was a combination of figuring out how to hold the vibrator plus placing it in the right position. We conquered our first sex shop visit. All we need to do now, is master using our new toys.
Anybody know how to use a vibrator?