All I need is one night.
It’s happened to me twice before, the question that is. What is on your bucket list – in life and in sex? The first time, a guy I was talking to asked me the question and I was instantly intrigued, running through potential adventures abroad, extreme activities, and kinky sex-capades in my head. The second, a girlfriend and I casually discussed the subject, bouncing ideas off each other. But no matter if the question was being used as casual foreplay between me and my male playmate or as a funny conversation in the comforts of my own home, my answered didn’t seem to change. I want to start a business, visit Tokyo, and have a one-night stand.
Aside from wanting to be a writer, I had always had ambition to start a business from the ground up. In my early years at college, and even some time afterward, I had come up with a series of startup ideas that usually came to me in the form of a daydream. I came up with a website for upcoming music artists, an app that served as a personal shopper, and a vintage clothing shop. While none of them seemed to stick, I still had high hopes that a business would be a venture in my future.
As far as visiting Tokyo, that was a no-brainer on my life bucket list. In eighth grade, my best friend and I had an obsession with Harijuku girls. We marveled over their culture and tried to mimic their style in any way possible. Let’s just say we never mastered the Harijuku essence, but that interest definitely sparked my intrigue to learn more about where these fabulous girls hailed from.
It is always harder to think of the things you haven’t done versus what you have.
I conquered the bucket list for my life in a matter of seconds. I had always kept a mental list of the things I wanted to do anyway. The bucket list for sex, was a bit harder. There is a game called Never Have I Ever, where you and a group of people put up ten fingers. You go around the room stating things that you have never done. If some one has done it, they put a finger down. The one with the most fingers wins, and is ultimately pretty boring if you ask me. Well, any one who has played this game, understands my sentiment here: it is always harder to think of the things you haven’t done versus what you have. In this same regard, I had a hard time thinking of sex positions or games that I hadn’t done and would like to do before I kicked the bucket. Was I into S&M? Did I want to have sex with multiple people at the same time? I wasn’t exactly sure.
But then it hit me, the light bulb. I wanted to have a one-night stand. It seemed to be the perfect combination of freaky and risky that I had never experienced in my twenty-something life. I hadn’t necessarily been the relationship type; I hadn’t had a boyfriend in years, and most of my relationships didn’t last very long. But all that aside, I was never interested in an “in-and-out” situation. I liked consistency. I liked learning some one’s name and being able to ensure that if things went right the first time, that we would continue it days after. But as I thought about my bucket list, I figured there was more to life.
The idea of meeting a guy for the first time, bringing him back to your place for a quick bone, and then ditching him forever, seemed so spontaneous and barbaric.
I read some article somewhere that said, in your twenty’s you should have the most sex you could have. To some that might have meant to have sex with as many people as possible, or have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend a lot. I took it as to have a one night stand. I wasn’t planning on having one-night stands every weekend or every month, but something was compelling about the option. The idea of meeting a guy for the first time, bringing him back to your place for a quick bone, and then ditching him forever, seemed so spontaneous and barbaric. In some ways I thought a one-night stand would give me power. That appealed to me.
It seems weird to immediately go to a one-night stand on a bucket list; I would think most people prefer to add anal sex or handcuffs. But a bucket list is meant to be a series of things that you wish to conquer at some point in your life that you otherwise might never get to or were scared to do. For me, a one-night stand frightened me to some extent, yet excited me in other ways. I wanted to see first-hand the kinkiness of bringing a stranger home, the awkwardness of waking up to them the morning after, and the freedom of not having to think about them ever again. I can’t say it is going to happen anytime soon; I probably have to work up the confidence to pull off something like that, but the great thing about a bucket list is that you have your whole life to work on it. I’ll get it done eventually.